November is ending and I keep on evaluating myself, from break ups, some on’s and off, stress attacks, regrets that keep haunting me and etc. that could probably lead my brain into some habits that I’m not very into and up to now I am slowly removing them from myself.
Being an orphan is not easy, there’s always a lot of times that I need my pillow and blankets in order for me to cope and hid such pain I feel, because there’s no one (in my own belief that is willing to listen, in my emo’s and ekeks in life aside from Mama) but I wanted to share too but I was afraid to get judge. So, sometimes I just change the names, scenarios things or places when asking advice to my friend or relatives because I AM SCARED TO BE JUDGE, if I put myself or use myself when asking things. Also I may not very good in communication towards others especially to the things from my side. I know I’ve been so harsh to myself but I don’t really know where to start but I’d like to be this first step improving and putting myself in a better place. So here’s the list of my Unhealthy Habits that I need to quit from myself:
1. Stop lying to myself.
Yes, I am very guilty with this. I used to fake things out before for me to believe but then I ended up lying to myself more and more. I could even understand why I was doing it and then, I can’t take it anymore it leads me to anxiety and depressive way.
2. Stop being anxious.
We can’t tell ourselves not to feel anxious but sometimes life happen unexpectedly and there I have it, I then got anxiety attacks without knowing it.
3. Stop doing things in order to fit in.
I know, I wanted to stop lying to myself and so pretending to be in order to fit in a particular group or things would be a no-no. Chasing things that doesn’t suit me or my personality could also be another habit that I need to get rid of.
4. Stop pleasing others.
As a student, most of times I’ve been notice this in myself that I am pleasing others but in my mind I was telling things that no, I shouldn’t done that. But then, I keep on doing it so it’s on the list too.
5. Stop dwelling on my past mistakes.
Proven guilty with this. Maybe those regrets that keep on haunting me needs some peace too, and my move is to ask forgiveness rather than escaping it, because life still haunting me.
I may have done things that is not right but here I am starting again because life never ends. We may partake to death but living in this world full of regrets, mistakes (though we cannot avoid this) continuously lying to myself would be the biggest part I cannot take back as time went out.
I want to consistently track myself thru this blogging platform so I am journaling online.
Thank you so much reading the post!
Until next post. See yah!